The Facts About Mustard

"I don't like mustard. Some people don't like mustard; except for the people that do." T, age 3.9

The Lecture

Yesterday SK, in tears, tells me that A told her she didn't love her. We had this discussion about words; that even if we say we're sorry, we were joking, etc. the pain is still there for the other person. We talked about different scenarios with their friends. I then related a story that circulates on email about driving nails in a fence. They listened intently, understood, and hugged each other. I thought it was a nice time.

Last night at bedtime SK proceeds to tell J the same story (about A). I walked in to hear him talking about the pain our words cause others. I said "we went through this already". SK said she tried to tell him that I'd already talked to her about it, but he started talking and she didn't want to interrupt him. Then she says "He told us basically the same thing you did, but shorter." ... Now my own child accuses me of talking too much ;)

And on that note, I'm off to clean the basement!

Here's the story I mentioned:

NAILS IN THE FENCE

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

They won't ask forever.

Yesterday as I went out for the mail it dawned on me that no one had asked to go with me for quite a while. They used to ask every time and it really was a pain to get 3 children's shoes on just for a walk down the driveway.

They used to always ask to drive "the long way" home so they could see the neighbor's horse. Then he sold the horse.

SK used to always ask me to read her a book. Now she reads by herself.

There are so many things that they used to ask for that they don't any more. Some of them were cute things we enjoyed with them. Some of them bothersome. Either way it's a reminder that time is passing quickly when we realize they don't ask any more.

Whenever possible, take the time youre children are asking for, because before you know it, it's gone.

A new year!

Here we are in another new year. SK will be turning eight in just 17 days! Every year I almost (or do) cry before her birthday. Eight, though... it's like the beginning of a journey as a young lady. I can see it in her face. She made breakfast twice in the last week. She helps mother the other children. I have a chance to make it or break it right now. It's my last chance to keep her heart. I feel like I'm teetering on the edge. If I don't give her the training and responsibility she needs I'll miss the opportunity. She wants to learn and grow and be fed. I can't fool around here! We've found the hardest thing is finding a balance in what we expect from her.

Snow!!!

I woke up to a thin, but beautiful coating of snow this morning! How perfect for Thanksgiving week. SK (7.75) is going to be thrilled when she wakes up. In the past, A(5.5) and T(3.5) haven't cared. It seems the cold weather has come on us quick this year. We probably think that every year, though. I feel like we just skipped October all together because of our trip.

We have been working through some of the stuff in the basement this weekend. I have a lot of clothes to put away from the season change.

Welcome!

I've created this blog for a few reasons: to keep our friends and family up to date on our family, and to have a place to put my thoughts down. It seems quicker and easier than hand writing in a journal.

We've just gotten back from a 16 day vacation and J & I are really excited about some things I'll have to explain in my first official post (eta: I should've said someday ;) ). I hope I can get my thoughts compiled and write something interesting.